🔗 Share this article

Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has always been the comfort zone for daily publications, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and key events, particularly within football. Readers were entertained to find out that an online journalist Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs within his residence. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room a little too literally, and was rescued from the vacant Barnsley ground following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “He had no shoes on and couldn't find his phone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And who can forget at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to access the restrooms in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then came in and was asking where the toilets were, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking through the school acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager post a quick discussion inside a lavatory booth together with Football Association official David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both of them pleading for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies tried desperately to salvage the situation.

“What place could we identify for confidential discussion?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably in the quarter of a century since. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley toilets and those two towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the dugout where Keegan once perched. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women's major tournament coverage concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We scarcely made eye contact, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a freezing stare. Quiet and watchful” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I have decided to put finger to keypad and make a pithy comment. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|